4. "As pediatric nurses, we already know that your child is dying of inoperable brain cancer, but we aren’t allowed to say a word. We have to watch you cling to hope that the scan will be negative and spend those terrible hours knowing the truth."
"We already know the fate of the others who were in the car accident with you. But it’s not for us to tell you, so we must keep the secret until the proper notification is given.
We watch your precious baby who has passed away roll into a freezer in the wall and shut the door. I will take that to my grave, no matter what the parents asked me to describe to them.
We often spend hours intercepting mistakes of things that could have reached you but didn’t. While you sleep happily oblivious to this, nurses are constantly checking and checking, protecting from even the smallest to largest mistake. When you wake up, we say 'good morning' and leave it at that."
—Sara C., Quora
5. "Sometimes, we have awful patients. Some patients have been awful to me directly, some have abused family members, and some are just mean people. I've taken care of child molesters, murderers, rapists, even a hitman once. The care that I give doesn't change, though. I might not be as friendly to the rapists and child molesters or the patient that is belittling my existence. I will still give every patient full care, though. Don't expect a smile and polite conversation, but you can expect to get your medications and treatments just like every other patient. The choices that you have made are not for me to judge."
—Beth W., Quora
8. "We cry about you. Sometimes, I'd end my shift by sitting in my car sobbing because I'd lost a patient, helped deliver some life-changing news, or saw a patient improve drastically, and I was so happy. Your health and well-being mean a lot to me."
"Sometimes, when I get home, I talk about you. I tell my husband or my mom about you. I tell funny stories. I don't give any names or identifying information; I try to keep it as generic as possible. But I need to decompress. I need an outlet for that stress. I need someone to say, 'You did the best you could today.' The burnout rate is high for nurses. These stories help us cope."
—Beth W., Quora
11. "If you have stage 3 (and definitely if you have stage 4) cancer, SKIP THE CHEMO! It's likely not going to save your life and may actually hasten your death and/or destroy the quality of the little time you have left (because it will make you so sick, weak, and tired). Enjoy the time you have left FEELING (relatively) GOOD (not vomiting and dealing with painful mouth sores, infections, and a host of other miseries that come with chemotherapy treatment)."
"If I ever get cancer and am told it's stage 3 or higher, I will never take chemo (and will only do radiation if it's palliative and necessary to decrease my pain, not for treatment of the cancer). I have administered chemo agents during my few years as an oncology nurse, and I have seen how awfully sick and miserable it makes people. It also often makes it next-to-impossible to enjoy the little things like eating or being with kids, to give just two examples. Why does it ruin eating? Chemo often causes stomatitis and other painful mouth/throat infections and sores. It also often causes nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea.
Why can't kids be around? Often, chemo makes a patient neutropenic (very low white blood cell count), putting them at high risk for a life-threatening infection. Kids are germy, so they're usually barred from visiting (unless the patient is dying and no longer getting treatment).
Chemo is a poison that I wouldn't wish for anyone. Yes, it can be a lifesaving poison, but that comes with a cost most of the time (neuropathies, hearing loss, organ damage, increased risk for other cancers, etc.).
Doctors will keep giving you treatment suggestions because that's what they're trained to do, and that's what they assume everyone wants. But at ANY point in your treatment, you can (and should if you don't want to keep enduring misery) tell the doctor that you don't want any more chemo or other painful treatment or meds that make you sick (like oral chemo drugs). A good doctor should always present 'not doing any treatment' as one of your options, especially for late-stage cancers.
PLEASE NOTE: This is solely my opinion, as well as that of every nurse I've ever worked with. It is not a medical suggestion, and yes, I know some (few) kinds of stage 3 and 4 cancers DO respond to chemo (sometimes). In my experience, it is the exception and not the rule."
—Lisa M., Quora
16. "My wife is a nurse. My uncle said something about nurses being compassionate, so I snarkily said they probably have office pools for what shift a patient will die on. I was joking, of course. I figured my wife would elbow me in the ribs and say, 'We don't do that.' Instead, she turned red and laughed nervously."
"Also, if you date a nurse, when she’s holding your hand, she’s really feeling the veins and evaluating how easy it would be to stick you. And no, that is NOT a joke. If you know an RN, ask them."
—Tom H., Quora
